When a fork is not enough

For the sake of my daughter's self-worth, I need to run out and get chopsticks today. I must get them right away. Let me explain. It all started when she was watching Ni Hao Kai-Lan, a cartoon that exposes children to Chinese culture, and was left with an inferiority complex after watching the show.

She asked me if Chinese people can eat with forks. Sure, it seemed like an innocent question, but I have learned that a question is never just a question, at least not with her. Remember when she asked me what I was going to leave her when I die? I was not sure where she was going with this particular question, but I had a feeling I was walking into a sticky situation judging by the serious look on her face.

"I'm sure most of them can, honey", I replied.

Wrong answer! I could tell by the concern in her furrowed little brows that that was not the answer she was hoping to hear, although I had yet to understand how that could possibly be a problem.

"Ugh! Great! Chinese people can eat with both a fork and chopsticks, but I only know how to eat with a fork", she exclaims in disbelief.

"Yes, that's tragic", I thought to myself in a moment of pure cynicism.

She was still staring at me in her typical wide-eyed anticipation, waiting for some glimmer of hope in the midst of despair.

"Would you like some chopsticks?"

"Really? Oh, yes, please! Then I'll be able to eat with both a fork and chopsticks!"

"Right...yes...because what would life be like if you only ate with a fork?", I continued sarcastically monologuing to myself. She grinned from ear to ear. My cynicism melted into a smile. I actually can't wait to get her those chopsticks, as I know this about so much more than just chopsticks. Hey, she could have asked for a pony.