Recently, a friend was sharing the details of a conversation she was having with her two-year old daughter with me. Now, if you have not yet had the experience of engaging a toddler in conversation, I can tell you firsthand, you are missing out on a mind-blowing opportunity to glean the deepest insights into truths about humanity in its most purest and honest form.
That being said, my friend was trying to explain the concept of "woman" to her daughter, who only understood the world in terms of moms and dads. In an effort to illustrate the idea in more concrete terms, she used me as an example of a woman. Her daughter quickly rejected that idea and adamantly declared,
"She's NOT a woman!"
I shuddered in anticipation of what was about to come next. Not a woman! What could I possibly be if I am not a woman?
My friend's daughter proceeded to pointedly clarify that I was not a woman, no, in fact, I was a motherwoman.
Oh? Hmm...a motherwoman...after a moment of reflection, I had to agree with her and acknowledge the depths of her wisdom.
What exactly does it mean to be a motherwoman? Well, in a nutshell, everything. Think of the expression, "For you, I will..." It aptly summarizes how being a motherwoman means striving to become everything your child needs you to be in order to care for them and love them in the best way possible for the rest of their lives. My friend's conversation with her daughter made me think back to the time when I first became a motherwoman.
When I learned that I was pregnant with my first child, the unplanned pregnancy was, truthfully, not the most welcome news. I felt completely unprepared and unqualified to fulfill the role of motherhood, to say the least. Even after laboring for hours and finally giving birth to a baby girl, the reality of becoming a mother had not yet become my reality.
I remember awkwardly embracing my daughter against my chest as she was immediately thrust into my arms by an overzealous nurse who wanted her to breastfeed right after birth. My mind swirled with insecurities.
"Whatever you do, just don't drop her," I thought to myself, as I tried to keep a firm but gentle grip on her slippery little body. I questioned myself. Was I holding her tight enough? Too tight? Where exactly is the fine line between firm and gentle?
Just then, her eye caught mine. I mean "eye", not eyes, because she stared at me with one eye shut, a little hesitant and unsure about her new surroundings, as if it were all too much to take in. Strangely, I felt reassured by the realization that I wasn't the only one feeling a little intimidated and uneasy about being "the new guy". We were in this together.
I didn't know it then, but that was the moment I had embraced my journey into motherwomanhood. I didn't yet feel like a mom, but I did feel like I could become one, that I wanted to be the best mom I could possibly be for that little girl staring back at me with one eye open in wonderment and amazement.
A year into becoming a motherwoman, a friend asked me what I enjoyed most about being a mom. I beamed, not just because I knew the answer, but because I didn't doubt myself.
It's about seeing the world anew, through eyes of wonder and discovery. It's about noticing the wonder beneath the surface of what can appear to be mundane and ordinary. It's also about discovering yourself too, and finding confidence and meaning in your role as a motherwoman.
For all those women who are about to enter this special place, welcome to Motherwomanhood! Welcome to the adventure and the wonder of it all!
For all of the seasoned mothers, in the spirit of embracing Motherwomanhood, I'd love to hear your stories about that first moment when you realized you were a mom.