Culture Shock

During a recent visit with a new-mom friend of mine, my friend admitted that no one had really told her the whole story about how challenging parenting can be sometimes, which left her completely unprepared for those first few weeks after the baby is born.

You spend nine months dreaming about how wonderful it will be to hold your beautiful baby in your arms for the very first time, and it truly is an awe-inspiring and magical moment. But, then, after that moment comes and goes, as all wonderful moments tend to do, you are left with the overwhelming awareness of what it takes to take care of that completely helpless and dependent little person.

Well, I pride myself in honesty, so as a public service, from one motherwoman to another, I am going to shed some light on some the very real challenges that come with becoming a new mom, and some coping methods I have learned along the way.

First, we'll start with the subject of sleep...

Forget sleeping for a very, very, very long time.

One of the hardest adjustments any new mom will have to make is getting by on a seemingly impossible amount of sleep—virtually none at times. To this day, I still feel like I have yet to recover. Remember the "Sleepless in Seattle" post?

As you well know, the effects of sleep deprivation can be devastating! Don't underestimate it. Sleep deprivation turns you into an un-intelligible zombie—you can't remember your own name or even form coherent sentences. I don't know how many times I would aimlessly wander around the house in search of something I was looking for, only to realize I actually did not remember what exactly I was supposed to be looking for. On another very sleep-deprived occasion, I misplaced my son. Oh, don’t worry, my husband did eventually find him and no harm was done…and it only happened once...but more on that another time.

My advice for coping with the lack of sleep...

Forget chores, errands, cooking, even showering. When your baby sleeps, YOU sleep! And in case your baby isn't sleeping as much as you'd like, recruit a loved one to watch your baby for a while, and steal some sleep. I have a single girlfriend who graciously allows me to just drop by and crash on her futon for nap, no explanation necessary. If you can't find a single friend who has no children and would be willing to give you a key to the apartment so that you can steal some sleep, now is the time get one, but you’ll have to get your own, mine’s taken.

Bottom line on sleep…

Sleep deprivation can render you completely useless, so put it high on your priority list and do whatever you can to get some!

Now, I know there are other areas of life that are forever altered by the birth of a child. I'll tell you more about them in future posts. You'll just have to keep reading to find out!

By the way, how have you coped with sleep deprivation after the birth of your baby? Do you have any funny stories about how sleep deprivation turned you into a zombie? Hopefully, you did not misplace your baby...yes, I know...that's pretty bad. What can I say? I was half asleep.

Sleepless in Seattle

I was trying to take a nap today—yes, that's right—a nap. I am not embarrassed to admit it. In fact, I'll be so brazen as to openly confess to all my readers that it's not the first time, either. I've taken LOTS of naps! There, I said it. Don't judge me because I believe in naps.

Now, if you're feeling the slightest bit jealous, it's probably just because you need a nap yourself. I would recommend you lie down for a bit to get over your sleep envy, but then you couldn't finish reading my story. Besides, the emphasis of the story is that I was trying to sleep. Sadly, I was not successful. My to do list kept interrupting me. I know, how rude!

There I am lying on the sofa with my silky sleep mask on (oh, yeah, I wear one of those—they are exclusively for serious nappers only). I was clenching my eyes shut, begging for sleep to take over, when my to do list came barging right in. It insidiously crept into my brain, and before I knew it, my thoughts of sweet, delicious sleep were replaced with all of the outstanding things that I had yet to do. Like a maniacal dictator, a voice inside my head began reciting my to do list. Meanwhile, the sleep deprived part of my brain became very irate and began shouting abusively at whatever part of my brain didn't get the memo that we were trying to sleep here!

BE QUIET!!!!!!

Well, needless to say, nobody truly won that argument. I decided to walk away before things got out of hand.

As a compromise, I attempted to prep dinner first and then try the nap thing again later, but that didn't work out so well either. My red, blood shot eyes burned from sleep deprivation. I was tempted to close my eyes a bit while I chopped the onions. Hmm, maybe that's not the best idea I have ever had. If only I had been able to take that nap first, I'd be able to think straight. But nooo...couldn't put the to do list in its place, could you!

Uh, that sentence wasn't directed at you, I was ranting to myself for a moment there. The truth is (and I say this without the slightest bit of exaggeration, no, not even a little), I haven't slept in six years. Six years! It all started when I became a motherwoman, but that's another story. I NEED naps. Naps are the only thing that get me by and prevent me from roaming around like a zombie. Well, that and coffee. Oh, if only...