Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

Bing search: hide and seek

 Have you ever seen that commercial that asks: "It's 10:00 pm. Do you know where your children are?"

Well, even before I had children, whenever I saw that commercial, I always wondered to myself, "What kind of parent doesn't know where their children are...I mean seriously, if you don't know where your children are, well, you shouldn't have kids!" And then, after I had children, I became even more self-righteous. Every time I would hear the commercial, I would  smile smugly and think to myself, "Of course I do...What kind of mother doesn't know where her children are!" Well, I eventually learned what kind of parent doesn't know where their children are...really, really, really sleep deprived parents...like myself.

This brings me to the time I "misplaced" my son. I casually mentioned the incident in my recent post about new mommies and the culture shock they experience upon entering motherwomanhood, and it stirred up a bit of curiosity.  Before I get into the story, I just want to clarify that no children were harmed in the making of this story! Honestly! And technically, because my son never left the premises, he wasn't truly lost...at least he knew where he was. It was more like playing hide-and-seek, only I didn't know I was it. OK, so here's the story:

It happened about two years ago when my son was a few months old. I was sound asleep one night when my husband woke me up and asked me where the baby was. I wasn't really awake, so I mumbled something about checking his crib.

"But I was just there...he's not in there."

Nothing was registering in my sleep-deprived brain just yet. All I could think about was getting back to sleep. I mean, how many times does my husband ask where something is when it's right in front of him! We've all been guilty of it, but my husband should be charged and fined for all the times he's been guilty of it. I think it should be punishable by law. But, I digress. Back to the story...

I motioned to the empty space in front of me.

"Well, obviously, he's not here," I stated sharply.

Now my husband looked at me very nervously, realizing that months of sleepless nights had finally gotten to me.

"OK, honey...I need you to think. When was the last time you remember being with the baby?"

"Uh... I was nursing him in bed...but then I put him right back in the crib when he finished. Or at least I think that's what happened..."

"I can't remember..."

He stared at me in disbelief. There was no time to try and bring me to my senses. My husband started frantically patting down the bed in search of our little MIA. He whipped off the covers when he finally found a bump underneath, and there he was, snuggled in a ball in the middle of the bed, sound asleep. Apparently, I only dreamed I put my son back in the crib, and somehow, he had wiggled his way down under the covers.

My husband was just appalled.

"How could you forget where you put him?" he asked, horrified.

I was still in a coma, and couldn't process what had just happened. In a very sleepy voice, I replied,

"Oh, you found him...(yawn)that's great...could you put him back in his crib...yeah, that would be great...(snore)."

I was fast asleep. It wasn't until the next day, when my husband told me what happened that the reality of the situation finally hit me. Chills ran down my spine. How could I forget where I had put him??? From that day on, my husband finally conceded to helping out with the night shift and letting me get some more sleep. And from that day forward, I could confidently say, I know where my children are! Most of the time...there was that other occasion when...

Culture Shock

During a recent visit with a new-mom friend of mine, my friend admitted that no one had really told her the whole story about how challenging parenting can be sometimes, which left her completely unprepared for those first few weeks after the baby is born.

You spend nine months dreaming about how wonderful it will be to hold your beautiful baby in your arms for the very first time, and it truly is an awe-inspiring and magical moment. But, then, after that moment comes and goes, as all wonderful moments tend to do, you are left with the overwhelming awareness of what it takes to take care of that completely helpless and dependent little person.

Well, I pride myself in honesty, so as a public service, from one motherwoman to another, I am going to shed some light on some the very real challenges that come with becoming a new mom, and some coping methods I have learned along the way.

First, we'll start with the subject of sleep...

Forget sleeping for a very, very, very long time.

One of the hardest adjustments any new mom will have to make is getting by on a seemingly impossible amount of sleep—virtually none at times. To this day, I still feel like I have yet to recover. Remember the "Sleepless in Seattle" post?

As you well know, the effects of sleep deprivation can be devastating! Don't underestimate it. Sleep deprivation turns you into an un-intelligible zombie—you can't remember your own name or even form coherent sentences. I don't know how many times I would aimlessly wander around the house in search of something I was looking for, only to realize I actually did not remember what exactly I was supposed to be looking for. On another very sleep-deprived occasion, I misplaced my son. Oh, don’t worry, my husband did eventually find him and no harm was done…and it only happened once...but more on that another time.

My advice for coping with the lack of sleep...

Forget chores, errands, cooking, even showering. When your baby sleeps, YOU sleep! And in case your baby isn't sleeping as much as you'd like, recruit a loved one to watch your baby for a while, and steal some sleep. I have a single girlfriend who graciously allows me to just drop by and crash on her futon for nap, no explanation necessary. If you can't find a single friend who has no children and would be willing to give you a key to the apartment so that you can steal some sleep, now is the time get one, but you’ll have to get your own, mine’s taken.

Bottom line on sleep…

Sleep deprivation can render you completely useless, so put it high on your priority list and do whatever you can to get some!

Now, I know there are other areas of life that are forever altered by the birth of a child. I'll tell you more about them in future posts. You'll just have to keep reading to find out!

By the way, how have you coped with sleep deprivation after the birth of your baby? Do you have any funny stories about how sleep deprivation turned you into a zombie? Hopefully, you did not misplace your baby...yes, I know...that's pretty bad. What can I say? I was half asleep.